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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)


In the Twilight review that I posted just a little while back ago, I kind of bit my tongue about my feelings on the Edward-Bella romance.  I thought that New Moon would be a better chance to share my feelings, since most of the action that happens in that movie stems from the problems and drama of their relationship.  So now that I am reviewing New Moon, I’m just going to let it all out.

I think that the romance between Edward and Bella is one of the most contrived, dangerous, thoughtless, irresponsible, immature love stories in all of fiction.  I know that I am going to repeat some of the same problems with the relationship that other critics have pointed out before, but that’s only because these problems are serious and true.  It literally twists my stomach into knots just knowing that at least one Twilight fan is going to read the books or watch the movies and think that this is a good example for a decent relationship.  News flash!  It’s not.

The whole basis for Edward and Bella’s relationship is not compassion or compatibility, but mutual dependence.  Edward wants to be with Bella because 1) he is attracted to her blood (again, creepy), and 2) watching over her satisfies a protective instinct of his.  Bella wants to be with Edward because…well…I’m not so sure why.  I’ve thought long and hard about this, and the only explanation I can come up with is that she is extremely insecure about herself.  Proof of this comes from the opening of New Moon, when Bella begins to fear that someday she will be old enough where Edward would not be physically attracted to her anymore.  In fact, that is probably the main reason why she begs Edward to turn her into a vampire, so that she would remain young and attractive forever and be with Edward always.

Mutual dependence is not the means to a stable relationship.  They don’t love each other for the sake of who they are.  They love each other because they each expect to receive something in return.  And when they keep expecting the other to deliver on their own fulfillment, eventually they are going to demand more than the other can provide.  I believe that is the heart of the problem to the whole “changing Bella into a vampire” plotline that seems to invade the majority of the films’ screentime.  Bella wants to change so that she can be with Edward safely and eternally, but Edward refuses to let that happen because he doesn’t want the loss of Bella’s soul to weigh down on his own conscience.  No matter how they decide, someone is going to get hurt by the other.

So you would think that Bella (and pretty much everyone else) would be better off if she’d let go of her attraction to Edward and learn how to live a normal life without him.  But apparently the story still wants to make us believe that this romance is a once-in-a-lifetime, “Romeo and Juliet”-styled love story and that Bella and Edward are meant to be together.  A number of characters, including Bella’s father, talk to Bella and tell her that it would be better if she tried to live a stable life and stay away from strange folk like Edward, and they are completely right!  But the writers of New Moon play it as if these people don’t understand Bella’s love for Edward and that Bella should do whatever it takes to still be with him, even when he apparently doesn’t want to be with her anymore.

Bella’s attitude gets especially infuriating in New Moon when Edward leaves her for a good chunk of the movie.  We see her sitting in her room for months, moping and looking like trash.  She distances herself from all of her friends and anyone who cares for her.  She even screams in the middle of each night from the dreams she has about Edward.  She is just absolutely crushed that her pale, whiny, emotionally abusive boyfriend isn’t there to stare into her eyes or tell her how pretty she looks.  She gets so desperate to see Edward again that she even begins to endanger her own life, by cliff diving into tumultuous waters and suicidally riding around in motorcycles, just so that she could see spectral visions of him warning her about these dangers.  Bella is reduced down to a pathetic, suicidal, self-pitying sociopath when Edward is gone.  Remember back in the first movie, when Bella tells a female friend that she is “a strong, independent woman” and that she should “take control”?  That line is a joke after seeing the way Bella acts in this movie.  Rosie the Riveter, Bella is not.

And THEN, to try and forget about Edward, she begins to spend a lot of time with the other local monster in this movie, Jacob the werewolf, by having him help her repair motorcycles.  It is clear that Jacob has a crush on Bella, and Bella keeps putting him on, despite the fact that she still wants Edward back.  She tells him how beautiful he looks and how buff he is for his age.  She even rubs his six-pack muscles on more than one occasion.  But even with all of the attention Bella has given Jacob, she still constantly talks about Edward and how she yearns to be with him again.  Talk about mixed signals!  And in the end of the movie, Bella tells Jacob that she loves him, but she would still rather be with Edward.  That moment made me want to throw something at the TV screen!  My God, she keeps giving Jacob this sliver of hope throughout this whole movie, and yet she doesn’t reciprocate any of his feelings for her.  No wonder Jacob comes across as a potential rapist in this movie (“You know what we’ll do to you.  I won’t have a choice”).

I hope I have said enough for you all to see how Bella is one of the most loathsome female characters in film history.  She takes what I assume is her first love, which pretty much boils down to a high school crush, and twists it into an epic, star-crossed romance that must impact the lives of everyone around her.  She manipulates two men, Edward and Jacob (three if you count Michael, which I don’t) to stick by her and make her feel wanted, and then becomes appalled when they naturally become jealous of one another.  Instead of just telling Jacob that he has no shot with her, she keeps egging him on just so that she can have a “backup boyfriend”.  I don’t know if she is this cruel in the novels, but I can’t imagine her actions changing much for the film adaptation.  Either way, like I said before, it pains me that there could be some teen or preteen girls who could turn Bella into their role model and believe that it is alright to treat boys this way.  That is why I would never let any of my daughters watch these movies or read these books.

Sorry, I blabbed so long about how horrible the romance is, I almost forgot to mention how horrible the rest of the movie is.  The dialogue still has the first film’s trademark woodenness and lack of direction.  The special effects, although much better than the first film, still look amateur.  The acting is drab and boring.  The characters aren’t compelling or fleshed out.  The storyline is nearly nonexistent, like the first movie.  To call the soundtrack excruciating would be too kind; it consists of nothing but moaning, shoe-gazing emo rock that serves as a black hole for any sort of energy that the film desperately needs.  The design of everything is unoriginal and typical.  And, worst of all, the movie seems very long, with both its passionless dialogue and its meandering plot.

The first movie earned 2 Stars in my review, but it could’ve easily earned 3.  New Moon earns 2 Stars, but it was so close to receiving only 1.  In many ways, New Moon is a better movie than Twilight, but the story in New Moon just pissed me off so much that it became nearly unbearable for me.  New Moon’s only saving grace is that it has some great unintentionally funny moments in it, like when Edward backhands Bella across the room to save her from Jasper.  I figured that if I gave Troll 2 a 4 Star review for its campiness, I could give New Moon some credit as well.  I would recommend New Moon only to serious riffers, but if you want to take any part of this movie seriously, I recommend that you stay far away from it as if it is trying to feast on your jugular.

Rating:  2 Stars

Distributed by Summit Entertainment
Running time:  130 minutes

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